- Posted by: Victory Church of Christ Ministries International
- Category: Devotions
One of the things that can make people enjoy their marriages and families is knowing the power of speaking positively and employing it in the marriage. Sometimes people say that words cannot hurt them or words cannot harm them, but one thing that one should never forget is that words hold a lot of power. Just as the Bible says in Proverbs 18:21 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue…”
This Scripture is very true and holds up to now. And if each person is to look back at their lives, they will realize that there are certain insecurities and fears in their lives which originated from some careless comments made about them by others some years back.
You might have not felt the effect of that comment at that time or you didn’t let it bother you but at some point you will realize that, the comment some one made about your appearance, your weight, your colour, height, way of doing things etc.
Did really affect your self esteem and still does up to now and that makes you vulnerable to certain situations.
In that if someone makes a related comment on you, you may feel insecure or of less worth.
The words that we speak to one another and even to children at home should be words that build not words that destroy.
Because our homes can be enjoyable if we know how to make the best use of positive words to our spouses or loved ones.
The second part of the above scripture says. “They that love it shall eat the fruit of it”
If you love to use your words positively, you will see positive results in the lives of people around you. Countless numbers of families have broken because of not knowing the power of speaking positive words.
They will experience what the bible says in Proverbs 12:18 that “reckless words pierce like a sword but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (NIV). So for you who knows the Lord, you must use your words wisely to bring healing in the lives of people not words that kill people’s moral or self esteem.
Many people are piercing their families and children with bad and negative words. Some of these words may not be spoken with bad intensions but yet it will bring forth bad results.
We should learn to eliminate our cutting and discouraging comments and use our words to motivate and show love rather than weaken and cripple others. We can do that by following these steps:
Emphasize the Positive
Most people actually do not intend to hurt others with words. But they just become careless and lazy especially when it comes to close family members or friends yet to others they are okay and simple. That is why you can hear people appreciate someone yet the close family members complain about that same person.
Some people get deceived by the devil that if they don’t criticize early enough what their spouse is doing wrong; he/she will not know how to correct it.
Some women /men after they have got married, instead of being polite and good to one another, they begin to behave as if they have already arrived. They spend a lot of time trying to improve their spouse to mould them in their own way saying “Let me try to let him or her know this before we stay too long and get used to one another” so that they know what I want. For Example, When your spouse comes from work, even before saying welcome, thank you for coming back early etc .They rush to things like the tap is spoilt, UMEME people came here they want to disconnect power etc. With this kind of life and words, you kill someone’s ego and interest. Learn to emphasize more of the positive than negative. Your objective in love or marriage should not be getting something you want or like. But should be doing some thing for the well being of the one you love. When people receive affirming words, they are motivated and encouraged to do even better. Focus on making positive comments, even for the little your spouse has done. Do it for their sake. They will be motivated to know that you recognize every thing they do. Learn to use more of the building and encouraging words in your speeches and make more emphasis on them always.
Avoid the Negative
criticizing our spouses builds walls in our family relationships and that sends a massage to them that they are un acceptable to us, have to improve, or need to change to earn our approval e.t.c, Know how to correct in the right way if one has made a mistake don’t just criticize. Critism and using negative words will destroy the self worth of our family members and fill them with a sense of distrust and hurt. But if you can use some of the following phrases they will help you eliminate the negative in the family.
I am proud of you .This phrase communicates admiration, not just for what your family members do but for who they are. It builds confidence in your spouse or children.
Song of Songs 2:3 “As the apple tree among the tress of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons men” this person was admiring her beloved and speaking it our Child of God when you express your admiration to your spouse it gives them confidence in you. Unfortunately some people do not want to do that, they feel it’s too much.
I love you. These three words never get old or lose their meaning, and they can’t be said too often. If they start to loose meaning in your marriage then know that your marriage relationship is heading to the rocks.
Let your spouse know that you love them and speak it as often as possible. Just like this woman in Songs of Solomon 2:i6 my beloved is mine and I am his. This can be found in the mouth of very few women or men. But if you want a good home environment, do it to your spouse always.
I missed you. This sentence tells your spouse and kids that you have been thinking about them. While you were apart. Even if it is for a day it’s a joy coming back to a place and know they were missing you or thinking about.
Thank you one of the best ways to encourage those you love is to speak your appreciation verbally and continually. Get into the habit of thanking your spouse for what they do well and see how they will change. Unfortunately in some families the word thank you is only heard from visitors and others, not from the couple themselves to one another. Learn to thank your spouse openly: for being a good cook, mother, time keeper, a good father, for making you proud of them by being organized and responsible e.t.c.
When you apply the above, your marriage relationship will be new every day that passes. I pray God gives you the grace to do good to your family. God bless you